I Can Never Start a Blog (What is a Spectredom?)

Just about a year ago, I was diagnosed with ADD so severe that my doctor looked me in the eye and asked, a little incredulous: “How did you make it through school?”

I laughed and replied, “Sheer force of will?”

This isn’t hyperbole. Pre-Ritalin, I was an awful procrastinator. Even knowing about a paper or a project for weeks, I would always, always start within 48-hours of the due date. 72-hours if I was full of enough terror and caffeine. Or if it was due on a Monday.

Even now, I’m only barely more organized than I used to be. But I can remember things for longer than a few hours, and the emotional stability I’ve found in the past year feels nothing short of miraculous. I’m planning stories — even if the “finishing” part still eludes me, nine times out of ten — and reading more; I’m experimenting with methods of self-improvement without falling into despair when it doesn’t work.

But I can never start a blog. The level of planning and need of a regular schedule are two things that I fear will require gaining a few more levels in Executive Function.

On the other hand, I want a blog specifically to get me writing more regularly, and to improve planning.

There’s the rub.

So I’ve come up with a (possibly cliche’) solution: this simply isn’t a blog. At least it isn’t yet.

I’ll shoot for a weekly update rate, but since this isn’t a blog, I can’t give a guarantee. This will mostly be a personal blog, with the occasional book review if I feel so inclined.

This will be what the title suggests: a realm of spirits; a collection of this or that ghost of an idea that stays long enough to make an impression. I don’t intend it to stay that way, but I’ll never learn what it is unless I indulge in a little trial and error until I find out what this is.

Because it is certainly not a blog.


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